Greetings to our AutismWorks Family,

This year marks thirteen years of AutismWorks—and thirteen years since I graduated from high school. As we recognize this anniversary, I want to share what that graduation meant to me and what my experience can teach us about supporting students as they move into adulthood.

Graduation can be an outstanding, memorable moment. It brings people together to celebrate years of learning, effort, and accomplishment. Many students look forward to it with excitement.

I did not want to leave.

School felt like home. Graduation meant saying goodbye to a place I loved, and learning how to move forward took time.

I loved the joy of learning. I made friends, stood up against bullies, competed in track, and danced. I experienced new things and learned to accept things that were unfamiliar to me.

School gave me opportunities to discover my interests and develop the courage to participate. The people, activities, and experiences became part of my everyday life.

When graduation arrived, it brought a bittersweet heartbreak. There was an accomplishment to recognize, but there was also a goodbye I did not want to say.

That is why I think it matters to look beyond how we expect a graduate to feel. We may see a diploma and an exciting future. The graduate may be thinking about the friends they will miss or wondering where they will feel at home again.

A student can value their accomplishment and still find the transition painful.

My experience is one graduation story. For another student, finishing school may bring relief, freedom, or a welcome opportunity to begin again. Understanding the individual is more useful than assuming everyone shares the same feelings about the milestone.

For some students with autism, graduation can change several familiar parts of life at once: the daily schedule, the people they see, the places they know, and the support they receive.

It can also change how others speak to them. Questions about college, work, and independence may arrive before the student has had time to understand what leaving school means.

Families can help by making those conversations specific and manageable. Instead of asking someone to explain their entire future, ask:

• “What will you miss most about school?”

• “What would you like to learn or try next?”

• “What do you want help figuring out?”

Give the graduate time to respond in the way that works for them, whether that is talking, writing, or another form of communication. They may need more than one conversation.

If they are sad about leaving, acknowledge the attachment. “You spent years there, and those people matter to you” may be more helpful than immediately listing reasons to be excited.

Feeling understood can make it easier to talk about what comes next.

Preparation should include both graduation day and the days that follow. Here are practical ways to make the transition more understandable and personal:

• Plan the ceremony with the graduate. Review what will happen, including seating, waiting, walking across the stage, and meeting family afterward. Ask about crowds, noise, clothing, and photographs. Discuss any needed arrangements with the school before the event, including access to a quiet place or a break.

• Make the first weeks after school concrete. A simple weekly plan can show when there will be responsibilities, enjoyable activities, social time, and rest. Start with a manageable schedule and adjust it together. Knowing what Monday looks like can be more helpful than being told that anything is possible.

• Explore future opportunities in small steps. Visit a college, training program, workplace, or volunteer setting when possible. Ask what a typical day involves and who can answer questions. A visit can help the graduate decide whether an opportunity interests them and what support they might need.

• Prepare for changes in support. Speak with the school team before graduation about which supports will end and what needs to be arranged elsewhere. Identify people to contact in the next setting. Encourage the graduate to describe what helps them learn, communicate, and participate.

• Keep valued connections and interests in the plan. Discuss how to stay in touch with friends who also want to remain connected. Look for ways to continue learning, athletics, dance, art, or other activities the graduate enjoys. Those interests can provide continuity while other parts of life change.

• Practice responsibilities with appropriate help. Planning transportation, managing a calendar, preparing food, or making an appointment can be learned one task at a time. Let the graduate help choose what to work on. Recognize progress, and make asking for assistance an ordinary part of learning.

The graduate’s interests and goals should guide these decisions. College, employment, further training, volunteering, and developing daily living skills are possibilities to explore. There is no single schedule that every graduate must follow.

After high school, I had to learn how to move on and take on new responsibilities with AutismWorks.

That did not make my attachment to school disappear. I still valued the friends, the learning, and the experiences that had made it feel like home. Those experiences became part of what I brought into my work.

The willingness to try something new was something I could continue practicing. The joy of learning could continue, too. I was beginning to use those qualities in a different part of my life.

Looking back after thirteen years, I can see how closely this anniversary is connected to that difficult goodbye. AutismWorks became part of my life after graduation, while school remained an important part of my story.

Sharing that story is one way I hope to help students and families. A graduate who struggles with leaving deserves to be heard. They also deserve practical support and opportunities to discover what matters to them beyond school.

To everyone who has been part of AutismWorks during these thirteen years, thank you for learning with us and sharing your experiences. Your participation gives us opportunities to keep learning from one another.

What did graduation mean to you or someone in your family?

Perhaps it was an exciting beginning, a difficult goodbye, or both. What helped during the transition? What do you wish someone had understood?

If graduation is still ahead, what would help you feel better prepared?

Sharing an honest experience—including something that was difficult—can give another family a useful idea or help a graduate feel understood.

Thirteen years ago, I was leaving a school I loved. I had to learn how to move forward, and AutismWorks became part of that next stage of my life.

As we celebrate this anniversary, I want graduates to know that they have room to feel what they feel about leaving. They can celebrate, miss familiar people and places, ask for help, and take the next step at a pace that allows them to learn.

You can miss school and still build a life you love.

If you are supporting a future graduate, ask what they hope to carry with them from school. Then choose one practical next step together.

Reply to this newsletter to share your graduation story or a question about the transition. We would like to hear from you.

With gratitude,

Tyler McNamer
AutismWorks