Finding Your Footing in Loud, Crowded Places

Hi AutismWorks Community,

There’s a street dance coming up soon—and I’ve been thinking about what that means for someone like me. Loud music, big crowds, unpredictable energy… for many people in the autism community, that kind of setting can feel overwhelming. And I get it—because I’ve lived it.

But here’s something I’ve learned: being in a large social crowd doesn’t always have to feel like too much. With time, space, and the right approach, even the busiest, noisiest moments can be full of joy.

How I Used to Handle It

Back in middle school, I attended a few school dances. And I remember the noise.

It was a lot.

I didn’t jump in right away. Instead, I stayed back. I watched. I observed everyone dancing, laughing, moving around. And once I felt ready—and only when I felt ready—I stepped forward and joined in.

That little moment of choice made all the difference. It helped me feel like I was in control, not the crowd.

Why This Matters to Us

At AutismWorks, we recognize how different each person’s experience is. Big crowds might be exciting for some and intimidating for others. For many of us, both can be true at the same time.

That’s why it’s important to say: it’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to step back before you step in. And when you do decide to join, it’s okay to express yourself in whatever way feels best—through dancing, smiling, or just being present.

Some Tips That Have Helped Me

If you’re ever in a situation like a dance, a party, or a busy event, here are a few things that have helped me (and might help you too):

• Observe First: You don’t need to jump in right away. Watching can be a powerful way to feel grounded.

• Protect Your Ears: Earplugs or headphones can soften the sound while still letting you enjoy the atmosphere.

• Stick to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s a friend, parent, or sibling, having someone nearby can bring a lot of comfort.

• Find Your Spot: Look for a quiet area nearby where you can pause and recharge if needed.

• Let the Music Move You: One of the great things about dancing is you don’t have to say anything at all. You can just feel the music.

You Don’t Have to Do It All

You don’t need to stay the whole time.

You don’t need to be in the middle of the crowd.

You don’t need to dance if you don’t want to.

Just being there, on your terms, is something to be proud of.

Final Thoughts from Me

I’m planning to go to the street dance. Not because I have to—but because I want to. I’m curious to see how it feels this time. I’ve grown a lot since middle school, but I’ll probably still observe first, just like I used to.

If you’ve ever felt unsure about big crowds or loud events, I want you to know you’re not alone. There’s no right way to experience these moments. Just your way.

And sometimes, your way is the best dance of all.

With appreciation,
Tyler McNamer
Founder, AutismWorks