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The Hug

To be touched in a way that shows compassion and love was difficult for me to fully process.

At the middle school dances, the girls had open arms, but I thought they just wanted two high-fives. Then they came up to me and gave me a big hug. This happened a lot! Almost every time, I was very surprised and would just freeze. I knew they were just being friendly and kind, but it was very uncomfortable for me. For a while that is.

I was used to receiving hugs from family members, but hugs from other people? “What is going on?” I would ask myself. Being touched was a huge thing for me growing up. There were rules I needed to follow. I needed to keep my hands to myself unless I was shaking someone’s hand when introducing myself. That was it. Those were the rules. So when someone I didn’t know gave me a hug I wanted to be kind and not reject the offer; as a matter of fact, I welcomed it.

In my head, this entire situation felt very weird and odd. I didn’t want...

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Activities To Avoid

Activities To Avoid When Your Child Has Autism

Learn the top three activities to avoid when your child has autism. Best selling author, speaker Tyler McNamer explains the top activities to avoid for a person with autism.

Children with autism cannot initially handle the same sensory input that nurotypically developing children can.

Things like parties, loud event, crowds, and similar things will overwhelm the senses resulting in a meltdown. It’s important to plan in advance when attending such events, and use discretion before putting your child into a situation that may not turn out well for you or your child.

Exposure for a limited time can be helpful and healthy, as it will start to desensitize you child allowing them to process the sensory input more effectively. Prolonged exposure will agitate your child with autism, resulting in unexpected behavior.

 

Tyler's Notes:

There are no limits. I have always believed that. Reasons why I would recommend activities to avoid is...

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I went to the drag races.

Second time became the charm.

Long ago, Dad took me to the drag races when I was twelve. Felt like the worst place to be. Reasons for that was:

  • Outdoor
  • Cold
  • Strange smells involving foods and gasoline
  • Incredibly loud noises
  • Vibrations of the race cars as they speed by

Was a beautiful nightmare. I say beautiful because that trip has taught me something very important that I will get to in a little bit.

I had everything in attempt to make it a better experience. Earplugs, headphones, and layered coats; Still didn't work! Even when things got quieter on the race track, I just never knew when the next time the cars roar on the racetrack; Always anticipating the next loud sound that even with the earplugs and the headphones, I still felt like I needed to cover my ears and my head.

Lots of backlash for Dad. People would think that he was trying to hurt me in the drag races because of the whole autism thing, but Dad did this because of a very fascinating reason.

The reason why was this....

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Fidget

What is a fidget? How was I using one when I was writing and typing this?

Fidgets come in a wide variety for all of the senses. Smell, hearing, taste, sight, and touch. Common fidgets focus on the touching aspect of the fidget such as beanbags and stones as examples. Those are the fidgets that are neat, but the one fidget I have been using quite a bit and still do at times is the toothpick.

Touch to me isn’t always about the hands, it can also be in the mouth area; I was the kind of kid that would rather chew on something or at least feel something in my mouth than to fiddle with my hands, then again, later on I saw a yo-yo as a nice little fidget. It spins, makes sounds at times, and sometimes lights up in the dark. See? Eye fidgets! Not just touch fidgets!

This is my definition of a fidget. A fidget is an object that can be interacted within the five senses to keep a person from over stimulating. That’s how I see it anyway. Guess you can call these rescue objects from...

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