Watching Closely, Learning Deeply, Choosing Wisely

Hello AutismWorks Community,

When I walk into a new place or a crowded setting, I tend to go into what I call recon mode. I observe—quietly and carefully. Always have.

It’s not about being shy or distant. It’s how I learn. I take time to watch what people are doing, how they act, and how they treat others. For me, observation is a way to understand the environment before deciding how to interact with it.

Observation Comes First

I’ve never been the type to jump into a conversation or a group without thinking. Instead, I stand back and observe.

This helps me pick up on what's expected, what’s considered acceptable, and what kinds of behaviors are going on. Sometimes, I notice things others miss. That can be a strength—especially when it helps me prepare for how to respond or participate in a way that feels right for me.

Not Everything You See Should Be Imitated

Here’s something I’ve learned over the years: not everything people do is worth copying.

Some behaviors might look fun or popular on the outside but lead to trouble. Some people might act a certain way to impress others—even if it’s at someone else’s expense. Just because it’s happening doesn’t mean it’s right.

That’s where decision-making comes in.

Before I follow someone’s lead, I ask myself:

• Does this reflect who I want to be?

• Is this kind? Is this respectful?

• Would I feel good about this afterward?

Choosing Who to Watch

I’ve learned to be careful about who I choose to observe. I look for people who treat others well, who stay true to themselves, and who seem calm in their own skin. Those are the people I learn the most from—not necessarily the loudest, but often the most consistent.

Some people just want attention. Others live with intention. I try to spot the difference.

Observation Builds Character

Watching isn’t about copying. For me, it’s about learning—how to be more aware, how to adapt, and how to become someone I’m proud of.

Observation has taught me how to:

• Recognize trustworthy behavior

• Stay true to my values, even in new places

• Think before reacting

• Make better decisions over time

It’s not always perfect. But every moment of observation helps shape who I am.

Final Thoughts

I like to observe before I act. That’s how I’ve always been. It's how I learned to manage new environments, unpredictable people, and different situations.

Observation gives me clarity. But even more important, it gives me the ability to choose—what kind of person I want to be, and who I want to become.

Recon isn’t just about watching. It’s about becoming someone stronger through what’s been learned.

With respect,
Tyler McNamer
Founder, AutismWorks