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Tiny Touches

autism chaotic touch Aug 31, 2020

I was taught to keep my hands to myself when I was very little; This post isn’t about human interactions, it is about what I would like to call: Environmental Interaction.

One of my favorite things to do is to touch things and explore things by feeling them. Sounds strange, I know, and I get called out for it a bunch of times getting different impressions on whatever I do; Especially when it comes to this topic. Why did I enjoy touch? Why did I enjoy the tiniest of touches? This is why.

Exploration has always been one of my favorite things. All a part of the adventure. When I was little, I would literally lie down on the grass and softly feel the blades by the smallest of touches. The only thing that I can hear is the small gusts of wind, the small sudden chirps of birds, and the sound of insects flying around. Just wanted to have my moment with the grass. Why did I do this? It was because of things.

  • Shut everything off for a moment
  • Escape to my own world for at least one minute
  • The tiny touches are comforting to me
  • A way to recharge after a chaotic day
  • Discover a different kind of feeling even if it is as simple as a blade of grass

I am almost always easily impressed and entertained with just about everything, and even grass fascinates me. Comes to a point where I enjoy the green grass and then there is the part where I get to a different kind of grass that is all brown and prickly. A much different kind of experience. Suppose you could say that I am learning new things in a different way; each touch is a new experience. From plants to carpet to concrete; as such examples. Learned what shade is about, how surfaces get warm, and what water is.

Many of these experiences are probably not a big deal to others and more of a no brainer, but I am always a “yes brainer” when it comes to just about anything. Quite passionate in learning just about anything. They all have always been so equally important to me. Thinking those tiny touches might have started something when it comes to curiosity and understanding everything in new perspectives. I only do this in private with no one around. Back then to even today. In all honesty, I have known that it has never been socially appropriate for me to carefully feel things after being called out on it by peers; I listened, understood, and now I do this kind of thing on my own. Part of discovery and a way to decompress as well as collecting my thoughts.

I remember a song with no lyrics called The Long Spring that reminds me of the tiny touches. Reason why is the way the guitar is being strummed. Sounded like gentle tiny touches on that one string or strings that makes the song in the melody. Probably would make a music video out of that song just for the fun of it someday showcasing the beauty of touch. Never with people though; For me anyway. It is better that way.

I did say earlier that when it comes to the topic of autism, the senses can be in overdrive; Meaning that they can be much more sensitive than ever! Touch is one of those senses that can be maxed up to the extreme. That is why it is important to slightly touch the tiniest of things before going up to the more extreme examples of touch. Taking the time to familiarize whatever is being touched is a good way to develop as time goes by.


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